How Solome Tibebu Turned Anxiety into a Mission for Behavioral Health

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For people with [music] OCD, a lot of folks assume that it's like, "Oh, she does [music] handwashing non-stop,"

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which is of course a common theme, but people with OCD can have issues [music] or themes about millions of topics. And

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so for me early on, [music] it was like if I didn't do something an even amount of times, like step on a crack in the

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sidewalk an even number of times, I was all of a sudden going to become pregnant. [music] I find myself very funny. [laughter]

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Like I say something that I think is funny and I'm the number one fan. Like I'm just cracking up and so people are

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always looking at me. Or how what's your introversion like? I I mean I really value deep one-on-one

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conversations. Yeah. Being around lots of people is probably challenging, right? Cuz you

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All right, so we just got off the stage. uh amazing uh conference here at Empath

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and you know I we've been talking uh a lot about behavioral health and I have

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someone who has built an entire empire um which actually I'm trying to actually steal some things from her to build my

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empire because I need more of you watching but um but uh I'll just start

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I'll just start. So welcome welcome to less than 1% uh thank you for being here

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uh thank you so much Dr. John Lson. Thrilled to be here. Yeah. So, I have a question for you. Everybody knows, well, they don't know.

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They'll find out what you've built. Uh, you built this amazing community around behavioral health tech. You built

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and and you've built it around your experience, which we'll talk about a little bit here. But I know that you

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have been open about your struggles with OCD

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and anxiety, but you built an empire where you're on

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stage all the time. How does that work? You said make poor decisions.

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Poor decisions. Yeah. This is a like I said earlier, an event business is the worst idea for

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someone with anxiety and uh but keeps me close to the mission for sure. And you talked about it earlier as a

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young child having a teen really, right? Teens having this anxiety.

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Um and I was intrigued by some of the things you said um in respect to what

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you were anxious about. You tell us like what what were those things that you were anxious about as a

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teen? Yeah, it's so interesting the things that I do and don't have anxiety about because um [clears throat]

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for people with OCD, a lot of folks assume that it's like, oh, she does

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handwashing non-stop or you know that kind of thing, which is of course a common theme. that people with OCD can

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have issues or themes about millions of topics and typically it's some kind of

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taboo thing that is uh too embarrassing to talk about which only furthers the

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isolation. M. And so for me early on it was like if I

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didn't do something an even amount of times like step on a crack in the sidewalk an even number of times I was

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all of a sudden going to become pregnant which of course is I know it's irrational but that's just not how OCD

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works and I would be consumed with the anxiety around that. But of course,

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being a middle schooler, I wasn't going to just all of a sudden tell my dad like, "Hey, this is what I'm anxious

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about because he would flip out and and not understand." And it just it fueled that isolation.

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Yeah. Yeah, I mean I I I know um about that whole, you know, you mentioned your

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dad's Ethiopian and so my dad's Jamaican and I know that Jamaican Ethiopia are

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far apart, but I think some of those characteristics like, you know, we if I

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was dealing with that, I ain't talking to dad about it. Right. Exactly. So, how how did you

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so at the time you have this anxiety and

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you think that there's going to be an outcome that is irrational. Do you know it's irrational as you think through it

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and you still can't stop yourself? Yeah, exactly. That's that's the thing. It's like I know it makes no sense,

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but it's just like there's if there's a 1% of 1% chance of it happening, it's

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like it's easy to get fixated on on that piece. And so, um, yeah, over my lifetime, I've

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had different flare ups, sometimes with the same topic, sometimes for completely

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brand new topics. And it's like, how do these ideas even get into my mind?

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Doesn't even make sense trying to figure it out. It just it just does. Is that part of the challenge? Part of

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the challenge is the the logical, rational, you know, and that feeds into

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more anxiety, sadness. You're trying to figure it out.

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Yes. Yeah. Figuring it out is absolutely a theme in and of itself that I struggle with. And um it's it's very meta and

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confusing, but a a a great therapist said, "Stop

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asking if it's true. Instead, ask yourself, is this helpful?"

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And the more that I could lean into the best practices, the tried andrude

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therapies for this condition, exposure and response prevention, the better. And

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over time, just that overarching anxiety was lifting and uh I could start to

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manage it better in combination with medications. Yeah. I think I think all of us at some

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level um I think especially when you're driven I know I I joked earlier about

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all the stuff you're doing and I want to talk about that too but I think when you're driven there is a component that

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is actually um sort of self uh uh it

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makes things worse like the empty inbox thing like that that's what do you mean I have to have an empty inbox like That

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means I have to check it every two seconds. And the minute it pings, that means I want to go in there and try to answer it. Like right now, you know,

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like, oh, I got three. Yes. So, it's like it's almost like some of those things that are actually society's

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accepted as good, you know, behaviors are also things that probably accelerate

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it, right? Trigger for sure. So, how did you what was the

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breakthrough for you? You're dealing with anxiety. There's there's got to be a time where you break break through. Is

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it is it 18? Is it you know what what thing sort of where you're like, okay, I

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know what I what it is. I've asked for help. Some I've gotten, some I haven't.

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Yes. Yeah. It was really uh the combination of so many things, but I have to emphasize that it took four

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different tries at different clinicians to finally find the right fit, someone

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who really understood OCD instead of just saying they did had that training

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in ERP. And that was really gamechanging for me. That again in combination with

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medication and managing my stress and sleeping, exercise, all of those things

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together. Um thankfully I was finding relief as a result.

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Yeah. What's it like for you now? Like is it are you you said it never goes away.

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Do you are you just in are you in a good place or how does that Yeah, honestly like last few years had

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been hard. I got a flare up that was honestly like worse than it had been in

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a decade. And I think it just really caught me off guard this time. And I I

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forgot how challenging it was. And it's easy. It's a slippery slope to to fall

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into a self-pity like a just I hadn't experienced depression before until uh

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these last few years. And then I had to pick myself up and say,

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"Let me say what I tell everybody else that these are treatable conditions.

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There are tried andrude methods. I've done this before and so that's what I'm going to do." And

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so thankfully managing it pretty well again. Yeah. I I think um you know I

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[clears throat] think I have you know this is I'm putting it out there. I think I have undiagnosed like issues like I

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we have a friend who uh actually Jordan Herb who's a psychiatrist and I was

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talking about this before we went on uh stage is that I feel like if I look into

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Herb's eyes that he's going to see all of the stuff that's going on behind the

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scenes. And it's interesting like how to your point about um to your point

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about hiding, you know, how much of our emotions and

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our feelings do we hide and how does that make make things worse? Um but you

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you you talked about taking that experience and building this entire

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empire, which we'll talk about, but I want to know like because I'm I'm a I'm a grudge holder. like I'm I'm a crutch

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holder. Like I can remember all the names of everybody who wronged me, the time of day,

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the moment, and then I always go back and talk to them a little later on in my life.

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And say, "Hey, you remember me?" Um, but do you do you remember some of those

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moments? People who didn't help you [clears throat] or people who, you know, maybe like, "Hey, this is

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don't do this, you know, don't try to build this empire." Were there a couple of people like that?

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Yeah. [clears throat] Oh, for sure. Yes. Yes. Some people like flat out like this

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is going to be a very overwhelming, stressful journey. You don't want to do

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it. I mean, they were right. It was a very stressful, overwhelming journey for sure. But, um,

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yeah, first year I could think of a few people like that. I mean, you [clears throat] can I mean, you don't have We're not We'll redact

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the names, but um, was that Fuel or was that sort of like just ignored them? Oh, yeah. Fuel for sure. Definitely.

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You ever call them up? [laughter] Haven't done that yet.

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Yeah, you should. You know what you should do? We should do a discount code for the conference with their names on

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it. Just special delivery. Oh my gosh. Don't worry. I'm I'm working with you. I'm going to

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being being around Moo is not positive for your career. I'm gonna say this is a first. I haven't

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thought of that one yet. [laughter] So So um how big is this community you

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have? like Yeah. So, our um event brings together

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several thousands of people. We've got we're expecting at least 2500 this coming uh September. The newsletter goes

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out to 20,000 subscribers every week and u even more on social media. But all

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people really dedicated to expanding access to behavioral health. And where where do where can people find

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you? Where's the best way where's the best place to go? Mostly LinkedIn. If you add me on LinkedIn, I'm sorry in advance. I do

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post a lot, but yes. No, I understand. Like I post sometimes it's three or four times a day. It's

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like kick um so Instagram, Tik Tok, you're not

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not as much. Yeah. Yeah. Not as much. We just go where the community is and that's just uh

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that seems to be that's where it resonated. Yeah. No, I I I'm

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So I'm Instagram, LinkedIn. Those are the ones like if you like I I will communicate you on Instagram, you know,

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with you. Um I challenged myself to do Tik Tok this year.

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Oh. Uh Janu to go go Tik Tok, which which is kind of interesting because when you

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start something like that, it's an ego thing because you like have three people. It's like my mom, [laughter] my daughter, and my sister. Like they're

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Hey, good job. Um, but I had actually a my first viral clip ever,

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even more so than Instagram or even LinkedIn and it was on Tik Tok and it

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was about Surria Moni um the skater, you know, the one I read about in the book that did the backflip. Yes.

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And it was when uh Melanin Melanin from the Winter Olympics, he did his

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backflip and everybody was like, "Oh, this is amazing." and they forgot this lady who did it 20 years ago or 25 years ago um

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who didn't get she actually got disqualified for it right so so it's um Wow.

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So it's so I I love the idea of in a positive way creating social

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networks where you know people can come and they can engage with you uh in ways that maybe we wouldn't do in person like

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you know um yeah that yeah I agree with that for sure. I've, you know, like I told you

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earlier, I'm I'm very excited about showcasing other people and the innovations that happen, but um yeah, I

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I get involved a little bit myself here and there. Are you Are you an introvert? Definitely. Okay. This

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definitely. So, I know. I don't know how it happened. It

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just I wanted it to exist and and you and you built it. Yeah.

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Do you so introversion?

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So I am I am you know everybody puts labels on things. I guess I'm an introvert extrovert. So you see me I'm like all over the place. We joke that I'm like spice. I'm

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like um but at some point it drains and then

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I got to disappear for Yes. You know an hour or two or whatever. Um but you are how what's your

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introversion like? Yeah. I I mean I really value deep one-on-one conversations

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and it's like I could host a large event with um hundreds or thousands of people

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but it's like just the few nuggets I have with a few individuals and that is

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really meaningful for me. Yeah. And uh yeah, but you know, more power to the people who can.

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I have a definition of introversion that I don't know if it's right, but if you're a deep relationship

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person, being around lots of people is probably

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challenging, right? Because you you want to have you can't get deep, right? You got to be kind of wide and not deep. And

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so I find that a lot of introverts actually really have really deep relationships with a few people.

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Yes. Exactly. So, it's actually I think we're I think we as introverts are more

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um are better connectors, which I think extroverts they're just kind of out there like wild

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and crazy. [laughter] Yes. We're we're curating the space for

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it to happen. Yeah. And I really enjoy that work. So, I asked you this on stage. We talked

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about your superpower. You know, the audience was there. Uh,

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they actually didn't laugh at anything I said, which was interesting because Oh,

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so I have another problem. I find myself very funny. [laughter]

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No, like it's actually it's actually like knowing your your your ailments, right? Like, right.

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Like I say something that I think is funny and I'm the number one fan. Like

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I'm just cracking up and so people are always looking at me like, "Moo, what? That wasn't that

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funny, bro. Like, right. Um, but anyway, we asked, sorry, that was a total tangent. Um, asked what your

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superpower was. So, tell tell my less than 1% audience. What's your superpower? Yeah, community building.

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So, dive in more though. We got to we got to we got [clears throat] to dig into that a minute, you know, a little more. When you say community building,

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what does that entail? What are you what skill are you using to be able to do that? It's like

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identifying an issue that's happening in the world that's impacting a lot of people. Usually me, which is why I got

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the idea in the first place. Yeah. And then it's like just starting small,

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connecting people like, "Oh, you really should meet this person, you should meet that person, or let's all get together."

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And then, yeah, lo and behold, there's a a whole conference of people.

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Yeah, that I I think I think so. Right. I think it's like I have a lot of cool friends cuz I'm

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short and ugly and so you know it's kind of like I think that most of the people

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and I'm sure this is the same for you that you interact with you're bringing something to them.

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I think that's a very like you got to bring something to the table for people cuz if you're constantly just like what

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can I extract from people I don't think those are good relationships. Oh yeah, hands down. It has to be about,

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you know, what can help these individuals like I want you to meet this person because you two mutually have

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something meaningful to Yeah. Hands down, it's got to be a giving. We talked you talked to somebody about

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your superpower because you were kind of like, h I don't know about this question, right? [laughter] Yes.

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And they didn't agree with you. Yeah. I'm I'm trying to even remember what my first said.

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It was um Oh yeah, I was going to say appreciating people like appreciating

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people on my team and I was talking to my partner affectionately known as Dr.

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Dreamy and he said, "What? No, what are you talking about appreci? It's

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community building obviously." Okay. Okay. And so so that's that's I I changed it. I'm like, "Okay, you might be right."

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I think that's I think it's like that. I think I think I think you're it's hard to think about

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cuz there's criteria. So I I didn't start with that. So criteria it has to be something that

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unique to you, right? It has to be something that doesn't drain energy, which is that's where I think people are

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like, "Oh, well my superpower is being on time." Like no, it's not like it if you you know I mean it has to be something that you can do and do and do

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and it makes you feel amazing, right? And it has to be something that others So case in point with Mr. Dreamy

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which is Should I Can I say that though? Dr. Dreamy. Can I say Dr. Dreamy, [laughter] though?

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You're probably someone's Dr. Dreamy. I know, but that's I mean, is that odd that I just refer to your Dr. Dreamy as

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Dr. Dreamy? Say your boyfriend. That works, too. Okay. Like, I'm too old to say your boyfriend.

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Yeah. I just Anyway. [laughter] Yes.

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Yeah. You were like, I don't know if this was a good idea. [laughter] Um, okay. So another thing that we

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talked about okay in this community I want you to is there

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something that you can tell us that you haven't told anybody else anywhere else

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anywhere else? Yeah. You know, obviously protect the names,

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right? Yeah. Not even a few minutes ago.

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I teased it. I Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I think what I haven't told anyone else is

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um you know it's been like six seven years building behavioral health tech

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and um what's nice about being a community builder is being able to

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engage in the community but over time it's like oh now I'm managing it and I'm

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not in it anymore. Yeah. And um it's it's challenging and

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it's like you know you grow in a business and my world really started getting very small and I thought okay I

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really need to branch out and explore different hobbies or parts of me. And so

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now I'm in golf lessons, dance lessons and piano lessons. Uh, not all at the

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same time, but like [snorts] kind of all at the same time. All right. Well, since you shared that,

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um, and I think I've shared this with Jordan. Jordan knows this, and I think I actually shared this with True.

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Um, so I I I played piano. Piano was one of, [clears throat] um, I mean, from young and I did all

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the, you know, different, you know, try to get as high as you can to teach and all that other stuff. But,

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right. Um, what was my first what was my second instrument? Can you guess that?

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Oh, h violin.

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Oh, violin. I would the violin in my old age, I come to

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respect it more, but violin when you're young is terrible. It's just reeling and you know, like no one plays well. Okay,

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one more guess. Drums. I did play drums, but I just learned

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that on my own, but that wasn't the second one. So, it actually was the flute. Oh, what?

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Yes. [laughter] I was not. No, that's how most people respond. They're like, "The flute, bro? Really?"

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Yes. Wow. The flute. Yeah. So, it was interesting, right? Cuz I was, you know, back when I was an athlete.

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Um, I used to play and I'd be in the front row, you know, with muscles and

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[laughter] a little flute. And um so we had lots of fights with the

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trumpets and the saxes, but we made it through. We made it through. Now you you when you speak, you say you

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prefer to moderate. Mhm. All right. So I'm going to challenge you a little bit. So let go hit me with some questions. Hit me with some questions.

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Well, I'm dying to know your superpower. Oh, okay. So

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I thought about a lot obviously because I ask everybody. So my superpower is relentlessness

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and it's actually like a compulsion. Um, [clears throat] I don't like it. I actually don't. I I I

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gain energy. I I don't think people can do it the way I do it. And other people

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say that about me. But I just have to do things crazily

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like keep going like overdoing it. Like I'm podcast, book, making music. Like

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why? Moo. You're a CEO of a $3 billion healthare system. Just that's that's good. I'm like, "No, I got to do

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more." Um, so that's my I think I have another like indirect superpower, which is my

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my ability not to sleep. Oh, that is that's a lot, man.

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Yeah, I went to bed at like 3:30 yesterday. You were going to say something? Yes. Yes. Um,

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what uh when did you identify that that like pretty early on?

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Yeah, I was I'm like I every step of the way like

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um when I was in high school I wanted I you know I like okay I'm

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going to make some money so I had a Chevet and I repurposed the back of the

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Chevet you know it was like a hatchback and I put a habachi grill in there and a

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[laughter] a little fridge and I didn't I don't know anything about cars but I was able to hook everything up so it had

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electricity And somehow there was propane and my parents didn't even know. And I would just drive around the city

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and sell hot dogs and patties and Wow. drinks and Jamaican patties. This is And I called it the patty wagon.

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The [laughter] patty wagon. Yeah. So crazy things like that.

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Wow. Yeah. Love that. Okay. I think we need to bring the patty wagon back next summit.

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I can see it now. roll in through rolling through the the front door with this with this chevet. We'll see if we

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can find an old chevet. Oh, that's so great. Well, um on the behavioral health front

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too, like how have you found um being able to have that dialogue

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with throughout your organization? Yeah, I think it's tough. I think it

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it's been tough. It's been a progression. I I'm intrigued by your personal progression, but also your

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professional pro progression. I think it's so awesome. Like as I was sitting up there talking to you, I'm I want I'm trying to get to that next question in

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my head, but I'm also stopping in that moment to listen to your and I think we've had some of the same things. You

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know, we started in emergency medicine and I joked about that like emergency medicine is like what's going to kill you, what's not

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going to kill you, right? Um but that's where a lot of the behavioral health those patients are

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seeing. And so we had to pivot and provide those services. Obviously when

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Scott Zeller joined our partnership, we're able to look at it in a totally different way. Um so that's sort of the

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professional side. Um where we do we do inpatient psychiatry, we do teles psychiatry, we do empath. On a personal

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side, I think that my behavioral health journey is about

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ignoring anything that's that is deeper than [laughter]

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you know and I think that there I think all of us right as we mature um need to

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start being more introspective

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and looking at that like you know like I can be on a plane you know by myself and I start flipping through pictures of the kids and I'll start balling my eyes out

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and there was a lady that was sitting next to me just like are you okay? [laughter] I'm like, "No, I'm not." Just like, you

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know, it's like balling like clear like like balling like something, you know, and I went through a pretty tough time

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with my son and his seizure disorder and Oh, yes. And so, I'm sure some of that is baked in there, but you know, it's a

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blissful ignorance has been my personal path. And I think you've encouraged me to be deeper than

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that, to really take ownership of it, go into it and deal with it because it's not going away, you know?

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Right. Yeah. I love that. That's But especially for you know the your

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your team it's tough for them to raise their hand to seek out mental health

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support. Yes. Without seeing the culture of the leadership their peers their managers

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all embracing it too. Yeah. And that veil, I think especially in healthcare, that veil of

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invulnerability and you don't want to tell anybody, yeah, that something's wrong, especially

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something that isn't, you know, that surgery can't fix or, you know, it's not a broken bone,

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right? Um, but, you know, I I have a few more questions for you. Um, we talked about this pre-show.

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You're ridiculously nice. Like I actually think that like I want to hang

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with you in other venues to see if this is really

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the true person like how are you like the and that's

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where you say maybe the connecting the way you interact with me and with others and I you know I kind of watch

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you and oh she do it now. Um you have that you have that I don't know

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nice is the right word. It's actually it's deeper than that. Where does And then you said that comes from Minnesota,

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but I I don't know. I let I've met a lot of people from Minnesota. Not all of them are nice.

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Yeah, it's it's it's a different it's a different kind of nice for sure, but um

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that's a good question. Um over time, I think well, I'd say empathy

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has definitely evolved over time. Um I think I've improved. Some people

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might say I've improved. Uh wasn't very empathetic before. Yeah.

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But just going through the things that I've been through has has definitely

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inspired more empathy. Um but yeah, and and just recognizing

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everyone's going through something. Yeah. You know, and and just being kind.

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You never know. Yeah. I think and that's where I find that podcast, social media.

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I [clears throat] do think there's a lot of people vilification of like you know communities and networks and social

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media and podcast but I think it's just like anything else is human. There's good and bad but the ability to connect

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with people um now transcends just oneonone and maybe 10 you know now you

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can if you're if you are have a good message it'll resonate

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right. Yeah. Yes. That's what matters. Exactly. So So where where do we go from here? Where do we I mean

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Yeah, man. Um is there is there I mean we I my job is

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to encourage her to write a book. No. Um and she said that the book is going to be like three pages long. She said

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right is a woke up had anxiety decided to start an event for some reason. The end.

29:17

It's way deeper than that. And there there are moments that

29:22

there are moments that you probably will never share with anybody. Probably. Yes. Except Dr. Dreamy.

29:28

Maybe. Maybe. Mhm. [clears throat] Yes. Again, is that okay for me to say that?

29:34

Is he going to watch this? Probably. Okay. All right. [laughter] Um but yeah, so I mean I um

29:43

my interpretation of it is that you have there's a greater there's a greater impact there. M

29:49

I think there's more. There's there's definitely more and it resonate it's resonating even

29:54

I think the post we did together I [clears throat] think it's what I can't remember what our post was and I

30:00

tagged you on it and then you re on on LinkedIn reshared it. Yeah. And before before you shared it there

30:07

were like three people that liked it like my mom, my sister and my and my daughter. And then once you reposted

30:13

there were like 600 other people that thought I was amazing. Oh, instantly, you know,

30:19

thank you. But I think that that that ability you you definitely have it. Thank you so much. Yeah. Yeah. It's

30:26

like, like I said, I don't know what the platform might be, but behavioral health will always be. I mean, it's my whole

30:33

life and there's still so much work to do. So, I think so. Are are you a disruptor?

30:40

I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're you're definitely you meet the criteria. disagreeable in a nice way in

30:46

a way Minnesota disagreeable. Yeah. Right. Like Minnesota

30:52

cuz I thought you were Canadian at first. I do because because the about about

30:58

the accent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz all the Canadians except for me have it, right? Um but you're kind of close to Canada.

31:04

I definitely have flight of ideas right now. I'm sorry. Um so disagreeable,

31:10

right? Rejecting the status quo. optimism, right? Believing that you can

31:15

change the world, right? And then relentlessness, which is my superpower, but I think it's also a criteria for being a disruptor. So, you,

31:23

my friend, meet the definition for disruption. And uh she's going to write a book.

31:30

Okay. I don't know about that. She get challenged even if it's three page. You know what? Actually, though, kids book.

31:36

Oh, see. No, no, no. We were on the same page. We We're on the same page.

31:42

Do I mean I actually think because um um we had um Marty on our show who writes

31:49

kids books. He actually just did uh Hey AJ. I don't know if you've seen that on Disney. He he was the one that came up

31:54

with that. And um I think a lot of kids and parents of

31:59

kids would would respond to how do you deal with the base anxiety like I got to test. I

32:06

got to make a free throw. I'm nervous about this all the way to, you know,

32:11

sort of real, you know, what you'd make the turn to maybe, you know, something more indolent. Um,

32:17

right. Like when is this actually something? Yeah. Yeah. And I don't think a lot of people know.

32:23

Um, you know, when when is it like how many times do I have to go back home to see

32:28

if my wallet's in my pocket? Does it really Matt? Yeah, it's in my pocket. Um, but when when is it really like

32:36

and I think that that's something that especially kids would want to know and feel okay with it. Like it's okay.

32:42

You know, it's okay. Like it's just like having appendicitis. It's not bad. It's just it is what it

32:48

is. It is what it is. Yep. All right. Anything you want to leave us with? Oh, I just thank you for the

32:54

opportunity. What an amazing community you've built. It's just been so great engaging with so many folks here. Um

33:01

really excited to continue meeting more and just thank you for the opportunity. Yeah. And we I'm I'm going to try to go.

33:08

Or is it is it closed out? No, it is not closed down. Okay. So, where do people sign up?

33:14

Yes. Uh for the behavioral health tech conference coming up in Nashville, September 22nd through the 24th. Just go

33:21

to behavioraltech.com. We've got a special code for our less than 1% listeners. And thank you so much

33:29

for um yeah, just learning more and would love to have everyone in our community.

33:34

Yeah, when you put the code in, just make sure you don't put that you know me cuz I think I think my price is like

33:40

higher just like moo you're going to come and totally just upset all my friends and you know.

33:47

All right. Well, thank you so much. I appreciate you being on the show. I think it's gonna be amazing and we're

33:53

gonna uh we're gonna change the world together and I'm also gonna be able to watch you as a fan forever. I appreciate

34:00

Thank you so much.

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